If you’ve read Letting Go of Leo or heard me share my story on a podcast over the years, then you know that my honeymoon was a really significant moment for me in my relationship with myself.
It was my rock-bottom-break-down-to-break-through moment that set me on a trajectory of healing my relationship with me. Not only would I not be doing the work I’m so grateful I get to do here with you all, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for that.
As the story goes, a tearful confession to Tim about how I felt inside led me to work with a health coach, get back into therapy, and ultimately let go of who I believed I should be so I could discover who I truly am.
The lesser told story is all the shame, guilt, and grief I had to process over the moments in my life where I was so fixated with running more miles or eating less calories or hitting a certain number on the scale. The people I snapped at because I was so stressed from it all, the moments I was there but wasn’t really there, the ways I hid away from the people closest to me. Part of the healing is processing all these feelings. Part of the healing is self forgiveness. And, part of the healing is knowing that YOU STILL CAN.
The honeymoon you spent obsessing over calories + miles? YOU STILL CAN have a love-filled trip where you soak up every moment.
Whatever it is that disordered eating or obsessive exercise or body hatred or perfectionism or whatever coping mechanisms you’ve developed have distracted you from? YOU STILL CAN have those experiences in the future.
For me, Miami was a moment of full circle, deep down in my soul healing. The biggest offering of forgiveness to myself and the full acceptance of it. A moment where I knew that there’s no need to focus on what I missed before because I’m fully free to LIVE what’s happening now.
You still can ✨
Today, I’m sharing three practices that have been essential for me this past decade.
I’ve been consistent (not perfect) with these practices daily. The way they look has changed over the years — as I have. They truly made the growth and healing I’ve experienced over the last decade possible.
Psst… I have no doubt they’ll be transformative for you, too.
First, self-compassion
Self-compassion is the act of offering yourself kindness and understanding. Dr. Kristen Neff (the leading self-compassion expert) describes self-compassion as having three main elements:
- Self kindness (in place of self judgment): accepts the reality that you cannot be perfect and offers yourself warmth and gentleness in a tough or challenging moment
- Common humanity (rather than isolation): understanding that suffering is part of the shared human experience and you’re not alone in what you’re going through
- Mindfulness (instead of over-identification): acknowledges how you feel and what you’re experiencing without letting it define you
Self-compassion allows you to accept, acknowledge, and honor your humanness; to care for and comfort yourself when you need it; and to grow in meaningful ways… not because you are lacking or are not already enough, but from a place of deep self-acceptance and love.
The benefits of self-compassion are HUGE, including (but not limited to) decreased stress, increased inner strength + resilience, more happiness, greater overall feelings of wellbeing, connection to wisdom (hey there, intuition!), and increased ability to learn new things and experience growth.
Easier said than done, right? Next week’s email will be ALL about shifting your inner dialogue from constant self criticism into epic self compassion. (I’ve got you!)
Second, intuitive eating (including the “joyful movement” principle).
Learning how to recognize and tune out of diet culture so I could learn how to tune into my inner wisdom when it comes to food + movement?
LIFE. CHANGING.
If you’re new to intuitive eating + movement, I can’t recommend reading the revolutionary book that started it all: Intuitive Eating.
Lastly, pleasure!
Can I let you in on a little secret? A decade ago, “pleasure” wasn’t really in my vocabulary. I wanted to follow the rules. Check all the boxes. Control my way to perfection. There wasn’t time for fun. There wasn’t space for play. There wasn’t a point in pleasure.
Or so I thought.
At the age of 25, I literally had to start learning what I even liked! I DIDN’T KNOW!
I made a commitment to myself to practice pleasure back then and it’s been a daily practice since. It started with learning what made my taste buds happy and it was an awesome cascade effect from there. Slowly but surely, more laughter, play, spontaneity, and magic crept back into my life.
Don’t overlook pleasure! It can be a truly incredible healer.
Now, I’d love to hear from you if you’re open to sharing!
Where do you need to hear “you still can” the most in your life today? Which of these practices feels most important to you as you get closer to experiencing it?
