As the doors to HELD coaching community + membership open today for the next 48 hours, I’d love to share a really personal story about receiving love with you.
Yesterday was my birthday and I had a huge personal breakthrough.
For most of my adult life, I have told everyone that “I’m just not really a birthday person.” And, I meant it!
I’d find myself feeling stressed each year when my birthday grew closer and people would ask about my plans. Pre-COVID, I loved to get out of town for my birthday because it took away any pressure to plan things. I took my birthday off of Facebook a few years ago to avoid the slew of “happy birthday” messages from people in my life. And, when the day would come, I’d find myself feeling a bit of sadness.
I always chalked it up to the fact that I’m not really a party thrower so I must just prefer to let the day come and go without a big celebration.
But this past year, I’ve thought a lot about it (in one of my many COVID existential thought spirals 🤪) and it finally clicked.
We are all walking around with core wounds + stories that we tell ourselves around those wounds. Some of my main ones have been that I’m “annoying” + “too much.”
What are yours?
I finally realized this year that these wounds + stories were why “I’m not really a birthday person.” It was really hard to receive such a huge amount of love at one time (on my birthday) because of these fearful stories: people will think I’m annoying… people will think I’m too much.
“If I go unnoticed, if I don’t make a big deal out of it, then I can’t be those things,” I was feeling deep down inside from a place of self protection.
This year (yesterday) on my birthday, I finally released those fears.
I TRULY celebrated the ongoing healing + growth I’ve experienced over the last decade by allowing myself to BE OPEN to love + truly RECEIVE it.
It was incredible.
I soaked up every text message, note, card, call, comment. I let it all in.
Truthfully? I was moved to tears many times yesterday, overcome by it all.
What I had actually “protected” myself from for so many years was letting people love me. Being open to their love. Receiving it.
I am so grateful for the work I’ve done in my relationship with myself this past decade to deepen self-trust, self-compassion, and self-connection. To learn how to have a truly nurturing relationship with myself. For the ways I’ve opened myself up to receive my own love.
It has allowed me to really, truly receive love from others. And to give it more freely.
Today, I’m filled + overflowing with love ❤️
And, as grateful as ever to help others experience the same.
The doors to HELD coaching community + membership are open for 48 hours (closing April 2 at midnight EST) and I’d love to invite you in: you can come join us in HELD here.
In HELD, we are working to release perfection + deepen self-trust, self-compassion, and self-connection together.
I know you nurture + hold so much in your life.
HELD was created to nurture + hold you while you learn how to nurture + hold yourself.
The April theme is personal values! I just posted the April journal and it’s waiting for you (along with an incredible community of women) here.
I promise you that there are people who want to love you well exactly as you are today. And, I promise you that one of those people is YOU.
I’d love to support you to open up + receive that love — from others but most importantly from yourself.
If that’s what you’re craving, if that would feel supportive: come join us here in HELD.