Last week, we spent some time visualizing ourselves fulfilled, living from our essence. And, we got curious with what opportunities we have or shifts (big or small) we might make to experience more of that in the present moment!
✨If you missed last week’s practice of self connection, you can revisit it here✨
Many of you took a moment to share with me what that experience was like for you. You saw yourselves…
Free from perfectionism in your home, at work, in parenting
Being more physically intimate with your partner (looking forward to it and really enjoying it!)
Feeling peaceful in your body and not stressing over stretch marks, wrinkles, or body changes
Consistently caring for/nourishing your body without any restrictive thoughts or behaviors
Having more fun! Saying “yes” to move adventure and not needing to control everything so tightly
Speaking to yourself in a whole new way, with love and tenderness
No more people pleasing! Feeling confident and comfortable in your relationships without constant fear of upsetting others or needing to make everyone happy
… to name a few!
There are only a few things I love more than hearing you share with me what it looks like to be your truest, most authentic, in-your-worth, knows-you’re-enough, essence of yourself!
And, one of those things is supporting you to navigate through the “stuff” that feels like it’s holding you back from living life in that ultra-fulfilling way.
One of the biggies is fear. In fact, many of you specifically shared in your replies to last week’s email things like…
But I’m afraid I’ll never be able to be that version of me.
It feels scary to make the changes I need to make.
Is it normal to feel afraid to shift?
Yes! It is normal! We all have them, and for very good reason.
Today, I want to offer you some reframes on fear and a simple way to begin to process through the specific fears coming up up for you. If that would feel supportive, keep reading!
I’m sure you can imagine I’m not going to tell you to F*CK YOUR FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. Not really my style.
It’s 100% natural to feel fear of the “unknown” (aka any change) and it’s a pretty important part of our internal operating system that evolved to keep us safe.
Reframe here: just because I feel fear, doesn’t necessarily mean that all change is bad or dangerous. I will be curious with this feeling.
What I will share with you is that there’s a positive intention underlying your fear.
There is a part of you, deep down, who is feeling afraid of doing things differently and we don’t want to tell that part of you to “shut up and sit down” or to leave that part of your behind.
This part is valuable, worthy, and loved. We want to hear that part of you and allow that part of you to feel seen. We want to bring that part of you along with us, so they get to be part of the most integrated version of you, too.
Reframe here: I’m so glad this part of me is speaking up. I want to take time to connect with this part of me without judging it.
From here, you can be curious with the fear. This is how true connection is created!
Here are some guiding questions that can help to draw out your inner wisdom:
❤️ What am I afraid I might lose with this change/shift? How might that impact myself and/or others in a way that feels scary to me?
❤️ What am I afraid I might gain with this change/shift? How might that impact myself and/or others in a way that feels scary to me?
❤️ How do I feel this might impact my identity (how I see myself or how I assume others see me)?
❤️ What feels hardest about making this change/shift for me?
❤️ What would this part of me need to know in order to trust me to move forward with this change/shift?
❤️ How has fearing a similar change or shift like this in the past benefited me or kept me safe? (Take a moment to thank yourself for this!! Sometimes the things that kept us safe in the past are no longer needed in the present/future, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t the best solution for us before).
❤️ What is the positive intention(s) beneath my fear?
If it feels supportive, you can even write a letter from the part of you who feels afraid. Let that voice be heard and fully expressed.
Reframe: My fear can teach me about how I experience life and I can learn from it in a way that supports me to move forward (rather than holding me back) to living fully.
A beautiful way to close out this practice is to picture the version of you who feels afraid. Maybe it’s 3 or 12 or 25 year old you. And then, picture your most empowered self (from last week visualization) wrapping that version of you up in a big hug and telling yourself…
“Thank you for sharing with me. I’m here with you. You are safe with me. I won’t leave you. We will move forward together.”