Did you have a BlackBerry?
This month in the coaching community HELD we are talking about rest and it brought back some memories from my BlackBerry days.
I loved my BlackBerry. I was the last person I knew to get rid of mine.
When I was practicing as an attorney, I was glued to my BlackBerry. I’d get home from work only to check it approximately 1,000+ times. Did anyone need me? Had anything happened? Was there any work that popped up I should get ahead of for the morning?
On the day I left my job as an attorney to be a full time entrepreneur + coach, I remember the feeling of deleting my work email off of that BlackBerry.
I rode my bike home from work that day feeling so wild and free. It was New Years Eve — freezing outside. The wind was blowing on my back and it felt like I was gliding. I cried tears of joy on that bike ride home.
I could really feel myself stepping into a new chapter in my life. Some changes are so slow and gradual that we don’t really feel them happening. But this was one of those changes in my life that felt marked. Deleting that work email off of my BlackBerry felt like a right of passage into a new part of my story.
On that bike ride home, I imagined the new part of my story I was starting to write. The part where I didn’t need to check email at all hours of the night. One where I would put an out of office up for a vacation and actually mean it! One where I’d relax + unplug… for real this time.
But, a few weeks into being a full time entrepreneur + coach, and I was doing all the same things.
What I thought was all the law firms fault was actually something happening inside of me.
If only I could have blamed it on the law firm…
I was obsessively checking email throughout the evening. And, now I had social media as part of my world. I was constantly checking there, too.
I’d sit down to watch TV at night — laptop always in my lap. After all, there was another blog post I could write or a message I could respond to or someone else I might be inspired by. I’d schedule clients early in the morning, late at night, and sure on the weekends, too. I’d say “yes” to every invitation for someone to pick my brain or to go speak for free or to host a workshop.
I was go go going non-stop. It tried to tell myself it was ok because I loved what I did and “Hey!” You’ve got to hustle!” I saw every few posts on Instagram. I told myself that I could work less if I wanted to. I could check my phone less if I wanted to. I could even say “no” if I wanted to. That’s what I would tell myself.
This went on for a few years.
Right after my son was born, my dad got incredibly sick with cancer. It was a life changing year for me: being responsible for a beautiful new life while also grieving the loss of my father. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully find the words to describe the experience of those opposite extremes happening simultaneously. A truly “both and” season.
The day after my dad passed away, I remember thinking I didn’t need to take a day off. I told myself I could get it together and be ready for work again by Monday.
I had come so far in my relationship with physical rest as it related to exercise. Physical rest was a natural part of my existence at this point.
But the rest from productivity? The rest from working? The rest from always doing? Well, there was room for growth and opportunities for healing.
The Monday after my dad passed, I did all of my regular client sessions. I was working in my car in the garage at the time — my “new office” ever since I had a baby and needed less background noise for my client sessions.
When I was all done with my final call of the day, I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. I remember thinking, “if I can’t take a day off of work now… when?”
My dad’s funeral was Thanksgiving weekend. That weekend I let myself fully unplug. I made a vow to myself (and to my dad) to learn how to slow down. Not only my body but to let my mind + soul rest, too.
While uncomfortable at times, learning how to have moments where I get to just BE has allowed me some of the deepest peace I’ve ever experienced.
The process wasn’t about devaluing productivity or work or movement, but about learning to acknowledge the inherent value of rest (and the inherent value in me — no matter how much I did or do).
I love talking to women about your relationships with rest. Whether it’s related to exercise or work or productivity. As women, I see over and over how we feel we have to earn what is essential.
Rest is essential. And, I couldn’t be more excited to spend the next month coaching, supporting, and encouraging the HELD community around it.
We will be exploring belief systems around rest and productivity (including where those beliefs came from), the cost and impact of those beliefs, how they relate to your sense of identity and worth, how to shift into a mindset that embraces rest (and not waiting until burnout, resentment, or depletion), connecting to the type of rest you’re craving, and ultimately experiencing permission to rest.
We have an incredible month planned:
- Like the monthly journal (for self-reflection + connection)…
- February Fireside Chat with the amazing India D. Williams, CEO + Founder of Rooted Women and Rooted Woman University…
- A bonus just-for-you meditation created by the wonderful Maria Tran…
- Live coffee dates with me throughout the month…
- The end of month virtual Retreat full of live coaching + community conversation…
- Daily interaction, support, connection, and coaching in the community each day…
- & more.
Here’s what a few of our current members want you to know about their experience…
“I’ve already told everyone I know about how impactful HELD is. I love receiving notifications from Mighty Networks about the engagement that is happening in HELD because I know it will be something positive and uplifting. I feel so connected to all of these women who I have never met and feel like we share a sacred space together.”
“HELD is such a supportive environment, and how the topic of the month can be applied to different areas of your life, and how amazing it is that you personally provide feedback and coaching.”
“HELD has helped me to see I’m not alone in my journey. The women here are honest and raw with their thoughts and trials. It has been beneficial to observe how other women work through their struggles.”
“HELD is the ultimate form of self care. It’s been a way for me to be curious and inquisitive about myself. I’ve appreciated that it’s very custom, you can interact as much or as little as you like and I enjoyed the various ways to interact—via posts/comments, journaling, live coffee dates, podcast style recordings and of course the culminating retreat. Logging on to HELD feels calming, nurturing and supportive, largely because this program has attracted some of the most amazing and welcoming women.”
If you’re feeling drawn to join… now you know why!
This morning, I shared the February “Rest” Journal with the HELD community and conversations have already begun. We’d love you to join us.