Last week, Dr. Becky posted on how to respond when your kid shows you something — like a piece of art work — that they made.
Personally, my instant response is to gush about how much I love their creations. Dr. Becky let me know in her reel that I might want to try a different approach. Rather than telling my kids how much I love it, I can practice asking them how they feel about it.
Why? Because it helps them build up a sense of inner pride. A resilience and connection they will undoubtedly need when the world doesn’t respond to every single thing they do with my same “OMG I LOVE THAT” enthusiasm.
As an adult, I’ve learned how important that sense of deep self connection is. When we trust ourselves, when we believe in ourselves, and when we can feel proud of ourselves, we get to move through our days with a sense of self that nobody can take away from us.
How do we cultivate a deeper sense of self?
One way to cultivate a stronger sense of self is to consider your own wisdom first.
Who is the first person you reach out to when things feel tough? When you’ve got a decision to make? When you feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed or just “whelmed”?
What if that first person you connected with was you?
It doesn’t mean you can’t still call your best friend or email your coach or chat with your partner. You absolutely can. But what if, before you did those things, you took a moment to be with yourself?
Hold your authentic self close: that version of you who trusts yourself, believes in yourself, is proud of yourself. That version of you who knows you’re worthy, lovable, enough.
And, the next time something comes up and you have the urge to ask everyone in the world around you how you should feel or what you should do or what they think…
Check in with your authentic self first:
How doyou feel?
What do you think?
Which next step feels right to take?
Taking a few moments to pause and connect with your wisdom before you check in with everyone else is an awesome practice to build up that sense of self.