If you struggle with beating yourself up when things don’t go perfectly, this story is for you.

Last weekend, Tim was in ATX having an awesome guys’ weekend. I was flying solo with the kids and honestly it was fun! I got to take Osh to activities that Tim usually goes to. I kept social plans at a minimum and cranked up the quality time with the kids. We ate dinner with my mom every evening. I slept around 11 hours a night, right in tandem with the babes. There were sweet moments that happened.

And then, there was Sunday morning.

We woke up, had breakfast, watched Sunday morning cartoons, and then it was time to go to church. I packed all the coloring books and snacks… just in case. Getting everyone dressed and out the door, while validating feelings about wanting to watch more cartoons rather than going to Sunday school, while also trying to get the train out of the station… well it was a whole thing. Then, we hit road closures at two different places trying to get there. Church is only 10 minutes away… who knew it was even possible to hit that much construction in that time?! The kids were bummed that they couldn’t make music requests (my car is VERY old and we have to listen to the old fashion radio in it).

There was a lot of WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! happening in the backseat.

We spilled into church more than 20 minutes late just in time for Sunday school to start. Our volume was at a 12/10 and I did a lot of dagger eyes and also whisper shh’shing. It’s never super effective but yet I continue to try.

The sermon was wonderful and spoke to my heart! When it ended, the kids came up and it was time for communion. As communion was being prepared, my oldest said loudly “I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.”

So, the three of us headed there. Well, by the time we actually made it back from the restroom communion was over. And this did not go well.

My youngest started sobbing because she was so heartbroken we missed it. I held her and quietly tried to comfort her. “You’re sad we missed communion. We can come back next week.”

Well, the crying got louder and louder and I had to make a run for it. I was holding her in one arm, trying to pick up all the coloring books and snacks (none of which we needed, by the way), whispering to her “it’s ok to be sad and cry! We will go outside so you can cry as loudly as you need,” and also motioning to my oldest that it was time to move on out with whatever body language I had left.

I felt like Miranda in Mrs. Doubtfire when she yells, “I HAVE TO GO! WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW!”

We got to the car andthere were tears the whole way home.

Whew. Church was a sh*t show (or should I say, we were the sh*t show at church).

This was not a perfect Sunday morning. Many of us have an inner critic that starts chiming in when things don’t go perfectly. My personal belief is that our inner critic is self protective and shows up to try to keep us safe from the things we fear most (i.e., rejection or judgment or failure).

When I was racing out of church, my inner critic starting telling me that “everyone was judging me” and “I was a bad mom.” I could have let that story run the rest of the day but instead, I did something that turned it around. This is a simple practice that I’d encourage you to try if your inner critic gets loud when things don’t go perfectly!

I said, “Thank you for trying to keep me safe. This was a hard morning. I did my best. Here’s what I’m most proud of… I got everyone out the door on my own. I stayed committed to something that is a priority in our family life right now — going to church. I validated my kids feelings often (not always… remember the dagger eyes ). I knew when we reached our limit and honored that.”

I could have beat myself up all day long for all the ways I could have done things better and all the ways people might have been judging me. I could have compared myself to other moms I saw at church that Sunday. I could have gone down that path.

But, what I’ve learned is that focusing on what I’m most proud of in these HARD moments makes me feel more willing to do the hard thing next time again. And the more I do the hard things, the easier they seem to get.

Borrow my script above and see how it turns things around for you next time things don’t go perfectly.

Life is a sh*t show sometimes. I’m proud of us for showing up!!!

Whether it’s day 1 of your intuitive eating journey or you’ve got a feel-good relationship with food but would love support navigating the occasional diet culture sneak attack (yes, those unexpected, subconscious thoughts happens to everyone! Even the most normal, laid back, in-tune intuitive eaters)…

I’ve got just what you need!

This simple question will help to:

Instantly reframe food fears

Swap judgment for curiosity

Cultivate deeper self connection

Enjoy a more nourishing relationship with food that supports you physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially

Shift into the parasympathetic nervous system (necessary for proper digestion and feeling calm, safe, and present overall)

 & more!

Yes, one question really can do all that.

“What value does this food add?”

While you reflect on the value-add of the food, you can consider…

nutrition benefits (i.e., carbs for energy or fat for satiety)

social/emotional benefits (i.e., connection to heritage or communal celebration)

emotional benefits (i.e., comfort)

& anything else that comes to mind! Maybe it’s ease (HEY PB&J), behavior changes (i.e., fewer binges because you’re not restricting dessert!), or something personal to you!

Name a food and I promise you there is value.

Give it a try — I’d love to hear how it goes! And, if you’re struggling to figure out what value a food adds, feel free to reply to this email so I can help you find it.

Labor Day weekend has always felt like a bridge to me, from the end of Summer into the start of something new! It might be a sweaty 🥵 95 degrees here in Columbus, OH, but in my heart & soul it’s Fall 😉

It felt like such meant-to-be timing that yesterday, fresh off of Labor Day weekend, was my first day fully back in my business. I’ve spent this week connecting with private coaching clients and planning all that’s ahead for Unmeasured (like the weekly LIVE classes officially underway as of this month 🥳).

At any transition in life, we have the chance to meaningfully reflect back on our experience and take what we discover when we reflect to move forward with greater intention.

We can go through the motions or we can choose to slow down, connect, and be intentional.

If you’ve ever taken a workout class and gone through the motions v. one where you’ve been intentional, you know how different the two experiences feel. Life is like a movement practice in this way!

Because I know so many people in this beautiful community are in a time of transition, I want to share the questions I ask myself to move through a change intentionally.

If you ask yourself some or all of these questions, I’d love to hear what comes through for you:

✨What was the biggest theme of this last experience/chapter?

✨What were the biggest lessons I learned?

✨What am I most proud of myself for?

✨How have I grown as a person?

✨What/who am I grateful for?

✨What was hard for me at the start, that now feels natural?

✨Who have I become through this?

✨What are the biggest truths I don’t want to forget?

✨What do I want to practice consistently moving forward?

✨What opportunities for growth/healing/change do I have that I want to prioritize now?

✨What version of myself do I want to be?

✨What is my intention for this next chapter/experience?

Change is happening and you get to decide how you want to move through it!

I woke up with this question on my mind/heart and I have to ask you…

If you believed that it would all work out even better than you could imagine or “control for” — what would you do the same or different today?

How would you live the same or different today?

How would you think the same or different today?

How would you act the same or different today?

How would you speak (to yourself or others) the same or different today?

What would change? What would stay the same?

I’d love to hear.

For years, my anxiety has been afraid that “I did something wrong” and “that person is mad at me.” I could unpack the reasons why, but for today I’ll just leave it at this…

Sometimes my anxiety has been RIGHT.

Sometimes the thing I am so anxious about actually happens.

SOMETIMES THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

This is why telling ourselves that “nobody is mad at me” or “I didn’t do anything wrong” can’t be the only way we process feelings of fear or worry. It can’t be our only coping mechanism. Because sometimes, that’s just not true.

Sometimes your anxiety is right!

For most of my adult life, I have not enjoyed hosting parties. And, there is a very good reason why. When you host, it means that you know just about every person in attendance. There are so many people to interact with that it is hard to have any kind of meaningful connection or conversation with anyone. You have to quickly say hi to everyone and then, before you know it, it’s time to say goodbye!

This means that at the end of every party I hosted, I was overcome with a feeling of being rude. I was overcome with the anxiety that “I did something wrong” and “someone is mad at me.”

Many years ago, Tim and I hosted a fall party. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a party celebrating the best season ever, FALL.

And, after this party, I made him listen to me recount many different interactions with many different people while I asked, “Do you think they are mad at me?”

“NO. Nobody is mad at you.” He assured me.

Well, guess what? Tim was wrong.

My anxiety was right!!

Because years later, I opened up my DMs and a person who had been at that fall party wrote me a lengthy message sharing that I had made them feel unwelcome at my house.

All of the hypervigilance in the world (and trust me, I gave it all the hypervigilance in the world) couldn’t save me. The scenario that I had tried to avoid like the plague had officially happened.

In someone’s eyes, I had done something wrong and yes, they had been upset with me. And, they had thought about it for years.

My anxiety had been right and, in a shocking turn of events, it was actually this moment that I realized I couldn’t let my anxiety be the thing that dictated how I lived my life anymore.

“What if I spent a fraction of the energy I used trying to avoid this moment to build up the resilience to be able to actually navigate these moments when they inevitably happen?”

Even when we do our best, even when we try our hardest, we will make mistakes. People will be disappointed in us. Balls will get dropped. Our intentions will be misinterpreted. Some people just won’t like us (no matter what we do). And the list goes on! Because no matter what, we will still be human and the people we will interact with will also be human. This means that sometimes what our inner critic says or what our anxiety fears may actually be true.

But there is some GOOD NEWS!

Rather than doing everything we can to avoid the uncomfortable moments (people pleasing, perfectionism, distracting with body/food/exercise obsession, and more), we can learn how to navigate them with self-connection, trust, and compassion.

​I shared about a ball I dropped last week and what I did (instead of tearing myself apart) step-by-step here in this IG post.

While every tough “my anxiety was right!” situation is unique, there is a non-self-bashing path forward for each one of us.

You are worthy of that!

A few years ago I started to wonder if I was “too old” to run an online business. Everyone I saw on Instagram seemed to be 22. Tiktok was taking off and I was trying to figure out what it even was. It felt like everyone already had a podcast and the market for that was oversaturated.

Maybe I’m too old for this, I thought. And I almost thought it enough times to believe it!!

Years later, I no longer feel too old for this. I am feeling very grateful for the ways Instagram lets me connect with you. I’m figuring out Tiktok so I can give it a try (no promises here, but I’m going to do my best hahahah). After years of wanting to do it, I’m finally launching the Unmeasured Podcast this fall! AND, I’m older than I was when I thought, maybe I’m too old for this.

On Saturday night, I saw Billy Joel in concert. I have never looked forward to a concert more in my life and it exceeded every expectation I had. He was legendary. He had such a naturally confident presence and his energy was contagious. The skill!! The talent!! Out of this world.

The excellence we got to experience at that concert was the result of decades and decades of refinement. He shared songs from albums that he told us barely sold a copy. He shared songs that were chart toppers. And everything in between. It was all of those highs and lows — and his commitment to continuing/resilience that made him who he is today.

What if he 30 years ago he thought, I’m too old for this or that album wasn’t a hit and stopped?!?!?

Now, I promise you that I’m not comparing my career to Billy Joel’s.

Just pointing out that what our inner critic says out of fear is not necessarily the advice we need to take on what to do next.

If there is something your inner critic is telling you…

I’m too old for this

I’m too young for this

My body isn’t good enough for that

If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough

I won’t ever be healthy if I listen to my body

Nobody could love me like this

Or whatever else you hear, here’s what you can do next instead:

Look for evidence to the contrary.

Think you’re too old to have a rocking career? LOOK AT BILLY JOEL! That’s EVIDENCE! His many many years of experience and wisdom that can only come with more age are what make him so spectacular today.

Whatever it is that your inner critic is telling you, I want you to look for someone, something, or even at your own past personal experiences to SHOW YOU that something else is possible.

I promise the proof is there.

The fantasy of growth/change/evolution is this: once you have the thing you’re dreaming of, all of your challenges melt away.

And, while nobody wants to hear this…

The reality is that as human beings, there will always be challenges.

As we grow, change, and evolve, they will just be different ones that we are faced with.

I can think of so many of these examples from my own life.

🙅🏻‍♀️When I struggled with binges as a response to restriction and also as a way to emotionally soothe, I fantasized that if I could *just* stop binge eating, all my problems would go away.

✨The reality is that I had to grow my capacity to hold emotional discomfort. I had to develop the mindset practices to move through decades of diet culture programming that made me feel terrified to eat normally. I had to gain the skills to emotionally regulate in other ways.

With healing, I was no longer struggling with binges. But, there were new challenges: I faced emotional discomfort, rewiring fearful beliefs, and more.

🙅🏻‍♀️When I was suffocating from people pleasing in my relationships, I fantasized that if I could *just* stop manipulating in this way, all my problems would go away.

✨The reality is that I had to learn to sit with the discomfort of people being unhappy sometimes. I had to endure shifts in relationship dynamics that could be really triggering. I had to get in touch with my own needs, voice, and desires and practice expressing them honestly.

With growth, I was no longer suffocating from people pleasing. But, there were new challenges: sometimes people were disappointed, some relationships changed, and I had to learn to believe in myself regardless of external validation.

🙅🏻‍♀️When I was in a career that wasn’t right for me, I fantasized that if I could *just* become a coach and start my own business, all my problems would go away.

✨The reality is that I had to face new financial instability and examine my relationship with money. I had to gain skills, like writing copy and learning marketing strategy and using new technologies. I had to decide what kind of leader I wanted to be and start learning how to be her.

Can you relate to any of these fantasies? Or perhaps, they bring to mind a unique one for you?

These are truly just a few that come easily to mind! If we had all day to sit and chat, I could fill every single minute with examples like this… from professional experiences to parenting to exercise, food, body image, marriage, perfectionism, and more.

Why do I have so many examples? Because this is the truth and essence of healing, growth, and change as humans. This is part of our humanity!

In each of these examples, I had to become the version of myself who could handle the new challenges that came along with the dream/desire. I am forever grateful for the guides, coaches, & mentors who helped me along the way (and to those who continue to, too).

I often hear the words of one of my amazing mentors, Naomi Powell: “You have to expand to have the capacity to hold the next level.”

Living with more peace? It has challenges.

Living with more pleasure? It has challenges.

Living with more presence? It has challenges.

Living with more purpose? It has challenges.

I know that nobody wants to hear this, because living in the fantasy is easier. But, I believe in us to rise to these challenges!! We NEED to hear it because our future awaits.

Every new chapter has new challenges and we have the opportunity to expand to hold those. With support and practice, we will find ourselves holding them with more ease.

I’m here to support you to do that. We will walk step by step toward what you desire — gaining the skills, resilience, mindset shifts, perspectives, tools, wisdom, and more along the way so you can hold it all when you experience it.

It’s not always easy, but I am here to help you find your ease.

To learn more, read client stories, and request a consult for my 6-Month Coaching & Mentorship Program: click here!

Or, feel free to hit reply and let me know if you want to connect.

I believe in you! We can do this.

I was late to the To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before party but when I finally arrived I partied hard. I watched every episode of XO Kitty and all three of the movies in record time. During To All The Boys: Always and Forever, [spoiler alert] there’s an amazing scene where Lara Jean takes on New York City with her friends. From a rooftop party to dragging a couch onto the subway, they have a night they’ll never forget. As Lara Jean is overtaken by the energy of NYC, realizing that is where her soul wants to be, I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Tim looked over at me, laughing a little, “wow… really moving you, huh?”

Unexpectedly (to both of us), I started bawling my eyes out. The scene hit something deep down inside me.

It took me a few minutes to figure out what exactly it hit, but when I got it… I really got it.

“She has her whole life ahead of her. She can dream and go after those dreams. Anything she wants to make happen, she can. I have so much responsibility. I feel like my days of dragging a couch onto a subway and wandering the streets of NYC in the middle of the night are behind me and I’m so sad.”

“You want to drag a couch onto the subway in New York?” Tim asked.

“Not ACTUALLY. But I want to feel excited. I want to feel like I can change. I want to feel like I can have a dream and go after it. I want to feel alive, like I’m really living.”

Sometimes, we need a movie to crack us open so we can put words to those stirrings deep down in our souls. There were dreams in my heart that I wasn’t even acknowledging.

I have a life full of so many blessings and so much love. But, the last few years have been intense and I think there was a heaviness that pulled me down deeper and deeper. I lost track of my spark. I have so much more to say about this but for now, I’ll share that moment, crying in my blue light glasses to Tim with the glare of Netflix lighting up the room, was an “a-ha” for me.

I’ve always loved a coming-of-age story. It’s why I watch Dawson’s Creek and Felicity on repeat when I’m feeling anxious or need a little pick me up. I’m always drawn to stories about high schoolers because I love to see a character at the precipice of their whole life. Everything is ahead, all the possibilities!

Yes, I have a lot of responsibilities – ones I am so thankful to have. But that doesn’t mean I can’t change, grow, evolve. That doesn’t mean I can’t have dreams! That doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of life ahead that deserves to be really LIVED.

Don’t you dare tell me that only teenagers have their whole life ahead of them.

Don’t you dare tell me that only Lara Jean can have a dream and make it her reality.

Don’t you dare tell yourself that, either.

Heck, I didn’t realize that I was subtly telling myself this these last few years.

The next day, I made a commitment to wake up to the rest of my life. I let myself envision what I really wanted. I said my wildest dream out loud. I decided to start making them happen. I am making them happen.

I felt like someone flipped the lights on inside me.

Tim literally said, “You’ve got a brightness about you.”

I want all of us to feel like we can flip the lights on inside, to shine the spotlight on our hopes and dreams! Whether they feel fabulously grandiose or beautifully simple.

A zest for life is not exclusive to the characters in movies or our teenage selves.

They are for us RIGHT NOW.

I see everything you nurture, carry, mother, and hold. That doesn’t mean you can’t also change, grow, evolve, dream, and really LIVE the life ahead of you.

It’s not either/or. It’s BOTH AND.

If you want support flipping on the lights, giving voice to your dreams, and making them your reality, I’m here for you! Applications for my 6-month Private Coaching & Mentorship are open: Learn more details, read past client stories, and request a consult here! ​

It’s summertime and that means hotter weather, fewer layers of clothes, and for many people, an increase in body-related thoughts.

I have a specific memory of a beach vacation I took with my family in my early 20s. I was so uncomfortable with my body and had stressed for more than a month leading up to the trip about being in a bikini. Once there, I remember spending the majority of the beach days laying completely flat on my back to try to keep my stomach as deflated as possible. I literally remember attempting to drink water while lying horizontally… I do NOT recommend this.

I told myself that once my stomach was as flat as the pictures I had plastered all over my vision board, I could finally move freely in a swimsuit (you know, instead of laying on my back, sucking in, hoping I wouldn’t have to walk anywhere that might make my body jiggle). Or, at least sit up when I needed to hydrate!

There were many summers in my early 20s when I did not feel comfortable in my body and I let that dictate what I did and did not do.

I was always waiting on one thing to happen so that I had permission to experience another.

The internalized body shame, weight stigma, fatphobia, and self-judgment kept me in the same place over and over again: waiting.

And no way am I alone in that!

9 out of 10 women opt out of important life activities with friends or family because they don’t like the way they look — stat shared via @TheWellFul.

I didn’t need my stomach to change to run into the ocean. I could do that any and every time I was at the beach – no body changes were required.

This is true for YOU and for all those 9 out of 10 women who are opting out of their lives.

Whether it’s body related or not, many of us are waiting on this thing to change so we can do that thing over there.

When we have the conditional mindset “once X, then Y,” it’s usually for one of two reasons:

First, conditioning. We’ve been conditioned by messages (media images, advertising, things people in our lives have said, stories we’ve been told since we were kids by adults, etc) that this is just how it is!

Second, self-protection. If we have to wait for X to do Y, then we keep ourselves safe from needing to do whatever we would need to do in order to do Y today. We don’t have to be that brave or honest or authentic. We don’t have to believe in ourselves right now. We don’t have to work through our fears. We can wait… until X.

Our conditioning, fears, and self-judgments can keep us trapped in conditional thinking (which leads to conditional living!).

I’d love to encourage you to make a list of all the “once X, then Y” thoughts you’ve been holding onto that are getting in the way of you being fully present in your life this summer.

Maybe they are body related or maybe they’re not! Scribble it all out onto paper. Your list might be short. It might be long.

Write until you feel like you’ve got them all out onto paper.

Then, pick ONE “once X then Y” and practice saying, “Actually I don’t need X to make this happen. I have the freedom to do Y now.”

Maybe you go enjoy a real bagel.

Maybe you buy shorts that fit.

Maybe you apply for that job or try that virtual dance class or book the trip.

Maybe you wear a tank top.

Maybe you leave the house without makeup on.

Maybe you practice honesty with someone you love.

Maybe you ask for help.

Maybe you create the boundary.

Maybe you take a dang nap!

If it feels scary, you can honor that fear. You don’t have to ignore it. In fact, here’s a great practice to help you process the fear right now.

Once you work through the fears, remind yourself that you’re worthy of living your life today.

I’d love to hear what you’re saying “yes” to!

Last week, our family and dear friends visited the Windy City for some 4th of July fun. We had a pretty epic agenda planned — seeing Sue the T. Rex, watching the Cubs play, tea at the Peninsula, a boat cruise, and more. All the adults wanted to show the kids some Chicago magic (of course we had to point out our old stomping grounds along the way).

We decided to leave the car seats behind and embrace city living like to good old days. Who needs an Uber when you can walk to your destination (or at the very least to the nearest bus stop).

Unfortunately, on day 2, Mother Nature unleashed a downpour that was so intense our phones were lighting up with flash flood warning alarms. There we were, looking out the window of our hotel rooms, wondering how the F we were going to walk anywhere.

So we did what we had to do (if we didn’t want to stay stuck inside a hotel room all day, and we definitely did not). We grabbed the last parkas at CVS and ran into the rain-pocalypse with our kids in our arms (and on our shoulders and under our parkas) towards the Museum of Ice Cream.

Yes, there were capital-M-Meltdowns.

Yes, we were soaked (although the $6 parkas were surprisingly resilient).

Yes, we were thinking “OMG WHAT ARE WE DOING?! SHOULD WE GO BACK TO DRYNESS?!”

Finally, we came upon the bright pink beacon in the sky.

We made it through the annoying ticket buying experience, picked our “ice cream names,” and prayed this was going to be worth it.

Spoiler alert? It was!

Literally a highlight of the trip for everyone.

We spent hours of a rainy day eating hot dog flavored ice cream, riding pink elephants, and diving into a gigantic sprinkle pit!!

It was totally worth the trouble of getting there. And, while I was laying in bed that night looking through fun photos from the day, I realized that what was true about the ice cream museum that day is true of a lot of things in life.

Sometimes you have to be willing to run through the rain to get to the sprinkle pit on the other side.

As we’ve been talking about living from our essence and working through our fears these last few weeks, I think it’s important to remember: the outcome of the challenges we choose to go through are oftentimes SO worth it in the end.