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If Peeing Your Pants Is Cool…

January 22, 2023 by simi

I was a band kid. While I know band kids don’t get the “coolest” rep, there was one group of kids associated with the marching band who were notoriously cool: the drill team.

They had these amazing sequin leotards, knee high white boots, and (so it appeared to the commoners) the confidence of a thousand queens. They waved their gigantic flags, high-kicked their legs, and danced while the rest of us marched begin with our borrowed band costumes (yes, hats included).

OMG DID I WANT TO BE ON DRILL TEAM.

I wanted the sequins. I wanted to throw a flag into the air! And I reaaaallllllyyy wanted that confidence.

Despite my fears that the boots might not fit my legs (team calves-too-big-for-knee-high-boots over here 🙋🏻‍♀️), I decided to audition. I went to all the practices. I spent nights alone in my room refining my moves. I even stretched! I was all in.

The audition song was “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65 and I shit you not, whenever that song comes on I still remember the choreography from that day.

They broke us into the small groups we would audition with. Side by side, we walked in front of the long card table where the judges sat and watched us. Someone clicked play on the CD player… “y’all listen up, it’s a story…”

My pits were sweating from nerves but I gave it my all. I kicked my heart out. My right groin still hurts thinking about those fan kicks.

At the end, I caught a friend’s eye and instantly burst out laughing. I often laugh uncontrollably in the midst of discomfort but, as it happened often in high school, my laughter led to me peeing my pants a bit. WHYYYYYYYYY!! I just prayed that the pee didn’t soak my soffe shorts (which yes, I bought exclusively for this audition) as I scurried off the basketball court so the next group could go.

After the longest hour of my life they announced the new drill team. I was NOT on that list.

Heartbroken, I rode home in the car with my mom. I remember feeling so sad, embarrassed (you know, because I peed my pants), ashamed that I didn’t “have what it takes” to be on the drill team, and like a failure.

I can literally remember thinking “I’m so average. I wish I were spectacular like one of those cool girls on drill team.”

Since that audition, I’m thrilled to share that I’ve had a very wonderful life (with many “failures” along the way, of course).

While I’m not sure anyone has ever used the word “cool” to describe me, I have done so many things that bring me joy. I am confident in who I am as a person. And, I dance A LOT (namely in my kitchen with my kids, but there are sometimes high kicks!!). Band ended up being something I look back on with so much nostalgia and gratitude. And, I don’t remember the last time someone even cared to ask about what extracurriculars I did in high school.

Not making the drill team did not ruin me!

In fact, I had almost forgotten about this moment until last week, when I got a message from a wonderful UNMEASURED member sharing how awesome it is to take classes from someone who is a “regular person.” Not an olympic athlete or a prima ballerina… just a regular human.

And she’s right. I’m a regular person who loves moving my body with joy + intention… and who loves helping others do the same.

As I listened to her words, it made me feel warm inside. I felt so much gratitude for the part of myself who is regular.

It was the same part that showed up to the drill team audition but didn’t make it (and I felt shame and failure about). Only now, I see her through different eyes. This part of who I am helps me to connect with people and encourage them in a really fulfilling way.

The same person, the same part of myself, but viewed through different experiences and lenses.

If you’re seeing a part of yourself through the lens of shame or embarrassment or failure, I’m sending you a huge hug. Drill team auditions weren’t the first or last time I felt (or will feel) that way. We are only human!!

But, today, I want to invite you to look at that part of yourself through a different experience or lens. Sometimes this is all we need to feel warmth and gratitude for who we truly are!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The hardest thing I’ve done (like harder than the bar exam)

January 12, 2023 by simi

On Tuesday before Christmas, we got some heartbreakingly hard and unexpected news. We got through the kids’ holiday concert with smiles on our faces and the very next day Tim left town to be where he was needed the most.

I was going to head out later in the week to join him, once I packed up everything for Christmas and the kids (traveling with kids means packing more bags than you even thought was possible).

But, mother nature had different plans for us with a freezing storm that made it unsafe, if not impossible, to drive out of town. The kids and I weren’t going anywhere.

Winter-stormed-in with the kids sound asleep, I turned on the new season of Emily In Paris and started to tackle Christmas wrapping solo. It was all going well (as well as it can go when you wrap like a five year old. Wrapping has never been a “gift” of mine)… until I stumbled upon Yasi’s dollhouse.

The dollhouse was my “great idea” for a Christmas present that would knock her socks off on Christmas morning. It was a beautiful wooden abode that I pictured her playing with for hours on end.

What I didn’t picture was the assembly.

Normally this is Tim’s wheelhouse. He loves a project. I figured he’d throw it together, no problem.

With Tim away (exactly where he needed to be), I considered leaving it for the elves to build on Christmas Eve but didn’t want to risk it.

What ensued was hours of trying to use a too-big screwdriver on too-tiny screws. Many FaceTime calls to Tim. My first experience with a power tool. A scream/cry/laugh combo I had never heard out of my own mouth before. And, even the sweetest group text offer from our dear friend Evan to come pick up the pieces and put it together for me.

When I tell you I spent hours but zero screws were screwed, I am being literal.

I decided to wave the white flag. I WAS DONE.

While cleaning up and putting the scissors from wrapping back in the kitchen drawer, I saw it: the exact screwdriver I needed.

The little cross was the exact same cross as all those too-tiny screws.

And, HALLELUJAH it worked!!

Suddenly, I was Annette Bening in American Beauty, with “I will sell this house today” energy.

I was rocking and rolling. I was cooking with gas. I was off to the races.

[Insert any other saying here, but I was BUILDING THE FRICKING HOUSE!!].

Now, this doll house still took me close to six more hours to build (aka the entire new season of Emily In Paris).

But, I did it!!

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Literally harder than the bar exam. I was so proud of myself.

And, the only reason it went from “this is so hard, it is impossible for me to do” to “this is so hard, and I rose to the challenge and did it!!” was one important thing:

I had the right tool.

We all need the right tools for the work ahead.

Whatever beautiful wooden abodes you’re building in your life right now, you need the right tool(s).

P.s. If you’re looking to have a more joyful intuitive relationship with movement, looking to build up more self-compassion, trust, and connection, looking for a challenge that feels loving at the same time, or looking to create a movement practice that you can do in your PJ’s with a cup of coffee nearby… I’ve got a pretty epic tool for you here 😉

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Year of the Furnace

January 6, 2023 by simi

How are you feeling so far this year?

I will not lie: I was ready for 2022 to come to an end!

2022 felt like a year of relentless challenges. One thing and then another a first, but then the cadence started to speed up and soon the challenges were overlapping.

Can you relate?

I spent the first half of the year trying as hard as I could to minimize challenges. I plotted and planned to make our days easier.

Out of sheer necessity (aka when all that trying-hard-plotting-planning didn’t “work”), I finally surrendered. The challenges, which felt outside my control, kept coming. And rather than continuing to use my efforts to make them stop, I asked myself a question that changed it all for me mid-year.

I asked, “If these relentless challenges were actually for me, what might I be able to see God doing in my life?”

I quickly scribbled in my journal that, “My capacity to hold the hard stuff is expanding and my resilience is getting stronger.” I also jotted down in the biggest letters, “SURRENDER!!!”

There it was: capacity, resilience, surrender.

My 2022 can be summed up in those three words. And, that’s why I’m calling my 2022 the year of the furnace.

When you have a home, there are moments when you invest in the home that feel SO fun. A new couch that you get to sink into with an awesome new book. A set of ceramic mugs that you admire as you sip your morning coffee. A piece of art that takes you to places in your imagination. A fresh coat of paint that infuses the space with fresh energy.

And, there are moments when you have to make big investments in the home to keep the home healthy, optimally functioning, and safe, that feel like the opposite of fun. Like, when you have to replace the furnace.

A year of relentless challenges, a year of stretching my capacity to hold, a year of strengthening resilience, and a year that – at times – brought me to my knees praying in surrender… it wasn’t the cozy new couch or the fresh coat of paint. It was a furnace.

It was an investment in my home that will make it healthy, optimally functioning, and safe. But DANG was it the opposite of fun.

Sometimes something that is good and necessary isn’t fun.

At the very end of 2022, I kept seeing the same thing when I would close my eyes. As they almost always do, visions take me to the ocean. I could see myself in the water, trying with everything I could to get to the shore. The waves kept getting bigger and more frequent. Engulfing my whole self and giving me almost no time to catch air in between. I could see myself getting exhausted and, despite all my best efforts, I was getting nowhere near the shore.

All I wanted was to crawl onto the soft sand, lay on my back, and rest.

Yet, all I was experiencing was more and more and more waves making that impossible.

As I watched this play out in my mind, I witnessed a shift in myself. I could sense that I understood, “you’re not getting to that shore. You’re not meant to be on that shore.”

Exhausted and defeated, I could also see a sense of peaceful knowing that there was nothing I could do to change that truth. Surrender washed over me, like the waves, and I stopped trying to swim. Instead, I turned my face toward the clouds and began to float on top of the waves slowly out into the ocean.

This is where I’m at as we enter this year. Deep surrender. Floating out into the deep waters with no clue where the current will take me.

I know – deep down – that the capacity, resilience, and surrender I gained from 2022 (a furnace year) are here with me on purpose.

I look forward to a time in the future when I can share with you what this was all for and where the waves ended up taking me! But for now, I can’t see a thing no matter which direction I look.

Here’s to the adventure(s) this year will bring.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

People-pleasing to the max in your friendships?

December 20, 2022 by simi

Since early high school, I experienced a lot of anxiety in my friendships. I won’t go into details but I had an experience that sparked a lot of fear about making friends mad, friendship dynamics changing, and losing friends. It impacted me, and the way I showed up in many of my friendships, for decades to come.

Until 2020.

At the end of 2019, I read Codependent No More (again). It was my second time reading it but my first time really HEARING it.

After closing the book, all I could think about was how I was showing up in many of my friendships.

I was terrified that if I wasn’t constantly checking in, remembering every detail of everyone’s life, making efforts to spend time together, and always booking the next thing, that I would lose their love. People-pleasing to the max (which, all of us people-pleasers know is just a form of trying to control). Holding myself to a standard of perfection (which, all of us perfectionists know is just another form of trying to control).

I would often ignore my own needs, feelings, or preferences in favor of trying to make someone else feel good, special, or loved. One time, I actually stood outside an appointment talking on the phone to a friend, too afraid to say “hey I have to go!” that I missed my appointment.

In a totally normal moment of relaxation, I’d often think of someone I loved and begin to panic, wondering “are they mad at me?!” Impulsively, I’d reach out, force connect, and try to prove to myself that my fear was misplaced.

I was terrified that if I couldn’t maintain the “status quo” in every one of my relationships that something bad would happen: I’d lose the love of someone I cared for.

I believed that if I could do 100%, the people in my life would have no reason to leave me. This belief was my attempt to avoid the pain of loss.

It was EXHAUSTING.

I could also see (with so much compassion for myself) that at the root of my behaviors was the fear of abandonment/the desire to be loved.

None of my friends wanted me to feel this way. None of my friends asked me to ignore my needs, feelings, or preferences. None of them required that I check all the boxes I had written on the “be a good friend to-do list” in my mind. None of them needed me to do 100%.

My behavior wasn’t about anyone else.

My behavior was about me.

So, in early 2020, I made a promise to myself that I would NOT have to live my whole life feeling this way in my relationships.

Here’s what I did to shift things:

I practiced the pause

I went inward. As scary and uncomfortable as it felt, I got more quiet in many of my relationships. I felt the impulse to reach out, check in, and do the most… but I didn’t.

As I felt the impulses, I practiced pausing and just doing nothing. I let the fear build and then I felt something beautiful: I felt it pass.

I affirmed myself when I needed it most

I affirmed to myself over and over again that: it’s normal and natural for relationships to shift and change. It’s ok for there to be ebbs and flows in connection with people. A relationship that shifts is not a failure. No matter the changes in my relationships with people in my life, I am loved. I am safe. I belong.

I affirmed these things with compassion because they spoke to my deep-down fears.

I had to literally take my hand to my heart, breath deeply, and say these things to myself about 100 times a day.

I had to show myself that, no matter what, I’d show up and love myself.

“I AM HERE FOR YOU!” I’d say.

I started to match their energy

Rather than always trying to do the most, I started to practice matching the energy of the friendship. Yes, I talk to some friends often, in an ongoing way. It’s reciprocal and it feels natural (not one sided). Other friendships, we connect occasionally and it feels wonderful in those moments we do. Others, I think of fondly and know that when out paths cross that it will be a joy to see them. Instead of trying to make all my friendships the first kind of friendship, I let go of the pressure, shoulds, and perfection and let them be. I started to match their energy and it was so freeing.

As time went on (and by time I mean a WHOLE YEAR of practicing this), I felt the impulses start to quiet…

and I felt a deep peace of knowing that I am loved in my relationship with myself growing stronger…

I was able to experience my friendships differently. There is no more trying to cling to what they once were or an idea of how they “should” be, but permission for them to be as they are meant to be in this season. I feel so much more AT PEACE in my friendships now.

Yes, many of my relationships have changed. In some, we talk much less. In others, we actually connect more than ever. Neither is good or bad, it’s just what is! I love my friends dearly and this inner healing has helped me to really appreciate each one exactly as it is.

I am free from resentment in my friendships, replacing impulsive actions with intentional ones. When I reach out, it’s not from a place of fear. It’s because my heart really wants to. It feels so good to be so authentic rather than desperately trying to control reality.

If you find yourself trying to control your friendships, epically people pleasing, or flat out missing appointments because you’re too scared to tell your friend on the phone that you have to go…

I’d love to encourage you to borrow any of these practices and see how they feel:

Practice the pause, letting the impulse to act from fear dissolve.

Practice affirming yourself in ways you need it the most.

Practice matching their energy, allowing your relationships to evolve.

This inner-friendship work I did was so parallel to the work I did over a decade ago with exercise/food/body image: it all came down to meeting myself in my deepest fears (rejection, not being enough, wanting to be loved) and moving forward with self-compassion.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

give this a try

December 14, 2022 by simi

This morning, I rolled out my mat to take an UNMEASURED barre class.

I was excited to move.

Then, I started to take the class — a class I’d taken a few times before (heck, I was the one who created it in the first place) — and it felt hard.

Like, harder than any of those other times.

And this is one of those small moments that I’ve learned is actually a big moment. Because how I respond to the experience is going to pave the path for where I go next.

Do I want to beat myself up because it was easier last time? Do I want to make this mean something is wrong with me and I better fix it? Do I want to give myself the third-degree about why it’s harder now?

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I bet we can all see what path that would take me down, right?

OR, do I want to ask myself a simple question that could allow me to feel even more like MYSELF and change my life for the better in the process?

I want to choose that second one.

If you want to choose that second one, too, here’s the question:

What belief do I say that I believe, that if I really lived aligned with, and embodied right now would completely change the way I experience this moment?

You already hold the belief on some level — if you were to really believe it right now by aligning your thoughts, self, and next steps with it… what could happen?

In my morning movement example, the belief I already hold deep down is this:

Our bodies are not static, they are changing. They naturally feel differently on different days and need different things on different days.

When I align with and embody that belief? Suddenly, I can meet myself with understanding, compassion, and care.

I take an entirely different path from the one that was lined with judgment, frustration, and “fixing” a problem that was never there in the first place.

I get to feel more like ME because I’m actually living in a way that honors my deep-down beliefs.

And, in a fully different headspace, my day shifts. My experience in my body shifts. My life shifts.

Give it a try if you’d like and let me know how it shifts things for you!

Love,

Sim

p.s. if you’re looking for movement that meets you (and your body) right where you’re at today, I’m here for you in UNMEASURED!​

Filed Under: Uncategorized

how to feel more confident

December 14, 2022 by simi

In the summer of 2020, I had the incredible experience of completing the Mama Glow doula training program. In the very first class, our mentor Latham Thomas said something that I’ll never forget:

“There is a lot to learn, but there is also a lot to remember. This is more about remembering.”

She was speaking of the truth that there are some things outside of ourselves that we must go out and discover (to learn) but there is also so much inherent wisdom within us that we have the ability to reconnect with (to remember).

My invitation to you today is to start remembering your confidence.

Because so many of us struggle with confidence.

In the workplace alone, studies show that where men and women share in quality and quantity of performance and abilities, men overestimate their performance and abilities while women underestimate their own. Women report much higher rates of feeling undeserving of opportunities and like they are imposters when they get them. Women also report worrying more about being liked, if they are attractive enough, and fear outshining others or grabbing too much attention in the workplace. While men apply for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications, women only apply when they meet 100%. There is even research that shows that women’s confidence actually declines with experience.

And this is just at work! Talk to almost any woman about confidence around her body, motherhood, setting boundaries, her life path, relationship status, and more and it will be clear that for many women the confidence challenges are not exclusive to work. (psst, without a doubt: Patriarchal conditioning, diet culture messaging, and more are huge contributors to these statistics).

Women collectively struggle with a lack of confidence because we are lied to about where it comes from.

As women, we receive many (often conflicting) messages about what we need to “do” in order to feel confident. From how to dress to how we should try to make our bodies look to what we should say to how we should live our lives.

SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD.

Many of us spend A LOT of time chasing after these external “shoulds” in hopes that we will finally feel confident.

Only to feel a different version of “I’m not enough.”

Because confidence isn’t something that you can go and get outside of yourself. It’s an inside job. You don’t have to “learn” confidence. Confidence is, as Latham shared, “more about remembering.”

The dictionary defines confidence as “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something” as well as “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.”

When you learn to trust yourself and embrace the truth that you are deeply worthy, true confidence flows from there.

You don’t have to go out and “earn” it. It’s already inside of you – all you need to do is tune in.

True unconditional confidence is an INSIDE job.

These questions will help you tap into your unconditional confidence:

How can you trust yourself in this situation?

How can you connect with your inherent worth?

This fireside chat that I got to have last year in my coaching community HELD with Chelsea Connors, my dear friend (who also happens to be an amazing therapist turned life coach) about confidence can help you tap into it, too:

​Tune in to my chat with Chels about confidence here!​

I can’t wait to hear what’s coming up for you around confidence.

Filed Under: Uncategorized


one question today to change your (future) life

December 14, 2022 by simi

We’ve all been through a lot in the past few years. How are you doing?!

For me, I realize that the parts of me that shifted into survival mode never really shifted out. The panic around work I felt when the pandemic hit in early 2020 — anxious spirals, chronic multitasking, and an almost constant need to be working — hung around after the lock-down ended.

While I understand why those behaviors began (hyper-vigilant self-protection anyone?!), I also realized that these “practices” were not supporting the future life that I want to experience.

Whether you realize it or not, you are practicing things over and over again. And those practices are creating your future experiences.

Some of them are internal — like your thought patterns, beliefs about movement + food, the way you speak to yourself, and body image.

Some of them are external — like how you show up in relationships, your movement practice, how you engage in work, how you interact with your kids, and your eating behaviors.

They are the seeds that will grow into the garden that will be your future life (I’m not a gardener, but boy oh boy do I love a good plant analogy). We are all planting seeds, watering those seeds, and watching them grow. We are also tending to the gardens that we planted long ago, as well.

Many of us don’t even realize what we have playing on repeat! Take a moment to welcome awareness:

What am I practicing internally in my daily life?

What am I practicing externally in my daily life?

Next, I’d love to encourage you to ask yourself:

What do I want to be experiencing a year from now?

Now, it’s time for the question today that can truly change your (future) life:

Are the things I’m repeating over and over again today aligned with the experiences I want to have in the future?

Some of them may be! This is an opportunity to practice gratitude for these practices.

Some of them may not be! This is another opportunity: first, to practice self-compassion, and second, to practice something different.

I’ve felt so empowered by not only the awareness of my practices but in knowing that the shifts I’m making today to be more present are creating the future that I truly desire.

Because “how we get there is where we will arrive.”*

Love,

Sim

*From the Phillip Booth poem Heading Out

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

I let myself go.

December 14, 2022 by simi

What’s one of the worst things a woman learns she can do? “Let herself go.”

Pause for a moment and think of ALL the ways you’ve received that message over the years.

So, it’s no wonder that so many of us are terrified of finding freedom from diet culture, releasing perfectionism, and embracing self-compassion.

Are you afraid that if you find freedom from the rules, if you release the excruciating expectations, or if you acknowledge the truth that you’re already enough… that you’ll “let yourself go,” too?
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I know it can feel scary to let go of what you’ve been clinging to, working towards, and judging yourself against for so long.

Who will I be without it?

What will I become?

The truth is, along this healing path you will let go of a lot. The goals and the measurements and the “shoulds” that never came from within in the first place.
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​But what will you gain?​
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The clarity of what truly matters to you.
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The energy to do what brings you joy.
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The GIFT of who you truly are ♥️
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You’re worth knowing!

As someone who has let herself go, I can tell you life is beautiful on the other side of all the clinging.

I let myself go.

You can, too.

On the other side of measuring everything you do against suffocating expectations, you get to be unmeasured.

Love,

Sim

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Where in your life do you need to hear this the most today? 

December 14, 2022 by simi

Tim and I got home a few days ago from a weekend, just us, in Miami. We started an anniversary tradition last year and I’m already counting down the 365 days until we get to do it again.

I cherish these trips more than I can put into words!

And this is why…
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If you’ve read Letting Go of Leo or heard me share my story on a podcast over the years, then you know that my honeymoon was a really significant moment for me in my relationship with myself. It was my rock-bottom-break-down-to-break-through moment that set me on a trajectory of healing my relationship with myself.

Not only would I not be doing the work I’m so grateful I get to do here with you all (hiii UNMEASURED!!), but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for that.

As the story goes, a tearful confession to Tim about how I felt inside led me to work with a health coach, get back into therapy, and ultimately let go of who I believed I should be so I could discover who I truly am.
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The lesser-told story is all the shame, guilt, and grief I had to process over the moments in my life when I was so fixated on running more miles or eating fewer calories or hitting a certain number on the scale. The people I snapped at because I was so stressed from it all, the moments I was there but wasn’t really there, the ways I hid away from the people closest to me.

Part of the healing is processing all these feelings.

Part of the healing is self-forgiveness.

And, part of the healing is knowing that YOU STILL CAN.
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The honeymoon you spent obsessing over calories + miles? YOU STILL CAN have a love-filled trip where you soak up every moment ♥️

Whatever it is that disordered eating or obsessive exercise or body hatred or perfectionism or whatever coping mechanisms you’ve developed have distracted you from?

YOU STILL CAN have those experiences in the future.
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For me, this annual Miami anniversary celebration is a moment of full circle, deep down in my soul healing. The biggest offering of forgiveness to myself and the full acceptance of it. A deep acknowledgment that there’s no need to focus on what I missed before because I’m fully free to LIVE what’s happening now.
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​✨ You still can ✨

Love,

Sim

Filed Under: Uncategorized

the inner critic is a lot of things (but creative isn’t one of them)

October 7, 2022 by simi

If I could sum my 2022 up (so far) in a single word it would be healing.

The really deep kind that you have to trudge through but you just know will be so worth it. Also that kind that makes you think, “can we be done with this yet?!”

And all my healing seems to come back to my inner critic.

You know who I’m talking about?

That inner voice that tells us that we can’t do it, aren’t good enough, should stay small, or some other judgmental jargon.

Here’s one thing I’ve learned: the inner critic is a lot of things, but creative isn’t one of them.

I bet if you wrote down everything you heard your inner critic (or “inner mean girl” or whatever you prefer to call this voice inside) say, that you could boil it down to a core theme or two.

For me, my inner critic loves the theme of:

“YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.”

In this moment, something really amazing is happening…

I can choose to believe my inner critic, taking her words as TRUTH:

Oh shit! I did something wrong and now someone is going to be mad at me or reject me or make fun of me or leave me forever.

Or, I can choose to hear her accusation as an invitation to really see her.

I’ve had to stare this part of me in the face a million times this year, while she tells me over and over again: You did something wrong.

I’ve made the conscious choice to be with her and hold her.

I’ve chosen to deeply understand her positive intention (because YES our inner critic always has a positive intent).

I’ve asked her: what are you afraid of? What do you deeply desire? What do you need?

And, I’ve learned so much about this part of me. The part that wants to keep me safe. The part that is afraid of abandonment. The part that’s terrified of feeling shame and rejection. The part that wants to feel accepted, connected. The part that deeply desires to be loved.

She is me. Holding her means I’m willing to hold myself — all of myself.

I’ve chosen to love her (not to love what she says, but to love who she is beneath the hurt and fear and panic).

And, something really cool that I’ve learned this year is that my very uncreative inner critic can help me connect more deeply with my authentic self.

Because when I hear her saying that same-old-thing…

Rather than letting it send me down a self-sabotaging-spiral…

I can let it be an alarm clock telling me to wake up to the whole me.

HELLO! There I am!

Not just the parts of me that I want the world to see or the parts of me that get celebrated by society, but all of me. The whole person.

I can offer compassion to the part of me that feels terrified of rejection. I can reflect on a situation with honesty. I can move forward aligned with my values, bringing all of me along for the journey — guided by my inner mother (this is what I like to call the intuitive, compassionate part of myself) while she holds my inner critic, who is ultimately just trying to protect my inner child.

THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE!!!

It’s been so healing.

If you’re ready to let your inner critic help you connect with your authentic self, here’s my process:

  1. Identify your inner critic’s core theme(s)
  2. When you hear those themes come up, remember that you don’t have to hear the words as truth! You can hear them as an invitation to be with this part of you
  3. Be curious with your inner critic: What’s your positive intention? What are you afraid of? What do you deeply desire? What do you need?
  4. Bring this part of you along for your journey, holding her while letting your Strong Inner Mama (or whatever you love to call this intuitive, compassionate part of yourself) lead the way

​

It’s a life-changing practice, I promise you.

Send the WHOLE you big hugs.

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