I hope you had a great 4th of July!

If you’re in the US, how did you celebrate?

After taking a nice long vacation at the end of June, I spent the holiday morning on client calls. I always come back from vacation so refreshed and excited about work, so it was a great morning.

In the afternoon, we BBQ’d, ran through the sprinkler, and ate melty popsicles in the crazy heat with friends.

I can remember a time when my life was dictated by my exercise rules and schedule.

I’d do anything I could to get in my workout – cancel plans with friends, skip a class in law school, ignore an injury, or wake up so early it felt like the middle of the night to get in all the miles of my run or make it to my daily hot yoga class.

People praised my dedication to “health” but the truth is I did NOT have a healthy relationship with movement. I felt obsessed, exhausted, and checked out of the other areas of my life.

I work with so many women in private coaching who are experiencing this same thing.

They started exercising as a way to take care of their bodies and at some point it went from a healthy practice to an unhealthy obsession.

Here are some things they share with me they experience:

They feel guilt and fear if they miss a workout.

They prioritize exercise over other things in their lives at almost any cost.

They don’t feel safe or ok to rest when they are exhausted, sick, or injured.

They obsessively think about exercise and how / if / when they will get in their next workout.

and / or

They are trapped in their exercise rules about what “counts” (how many minutes, how many times a week, what kind of movement) rather than guided by what their bodies truly need.

Can you relate to any or all of these?

If so, I’d love to offer you a mindset shift that can help you experience more freedom in movement.***

I call it the ‘movement menu.’

The movement menu is a great starting place for someone who wants to have a nourishing, intuitive relationship with movement FREE from obsession, exhaustion, guilt, fear, and rules.

On a piece of paper, I’d love to encourage you to create your movement menu — a list full of all the movement options available to you.

Here’s an example of my own:

• relaxed walk outside
• at home streaming class
• barre class at a studio
• easy jog
• dancing at home to my favorite 90s music
• fun random workout class with a friend
• stretching / foam rolling in front of the TV
• intentional rest

On your own movement menu, make sure to include that last one: intentional rest.

Rest is 100% an essential part of the movement menu mindset shift. Because YES rest is sometimes the very “movement” our bodies need.

Each day, you can look at your movement menu and “order” what’s best for you that day. It gives you loving flexibility within the intentional structure (which can be much appreciated when you’re first starting to find your freedom) of the menu.

Here are my favorite questions to ask to help guide your ‘order’ from a place of love / nourishment:

How do I feel today?

Check in with your mood, your energy, and how your body feels physically.

How do I want to feel after movement?

If it’s the afternoon and you’re exhausted but you want to feel energized, then a gentle walk outside might be the answer! If you’re exhausted and it’s 7PM at night and you want to feel rested, then getting into bed or into the bath for some intentional rest is likely just the ticket.

Is there anything specific I feel myself craving?

Maybe you’re craving some quiet alone time. Perhaps you’ve spent the day alone in your office and want to socialize! Or maybe you find yourself craving some fresh air. Movement is so much more satisfying when you ask yourself what you’re craving more of.

What does my life look like today?

Movement can work for your REAL LIFE. Everyday in your life isn’t the same and you have 100% permission for movement to look different day-to-day, too.

***A little note here: if you’re in ED recovery or for any other reason are taking a break from formal movement, please wait to incorporate this mindset until a time if / when movement is nourishing for you again.

Last week, I heard my body asking for something she hadn’t asked for in a long time: to go for a run.

I legitimately thought the signals were getting crossed somewhere. I haven’t wanted to run in a reallllly long time. I think on some level I assumed I probably never would again.

You know what they say about assuming… 😉

Yesterday, after spending an entire day in the car, I felt my body demanding I go for a run. I was craving fresh air, movement, and the burn in my lungs.

So, this morning, I set aside time from 8:30 – 9:15 to move my body. I gave myself options. If Osh was up from his nap, I could go for a run, go for a walk, or do some combo of both. If he was still sleeping and I was “landlocked,” I gave myself the option to dance to music, do an at-home circuit, or move on my yoga mat.

Osh woke up from his AM nap at 8:15 (yes… when you wake up for the day at 3:30 in the morning, your morning nap ends at 8:15) and we hit the road!

Turns out… my body really did want to run. I ran the whole time, giving myself full permission to walk if that ever sounded better.

I have no clue if I will run again this week, this month, or ever again. All I know is that today my body really wanted to run and so I did!

I hear from a lot of women that they feel their body craving more movement or “asking for a run” but they aren’t sure how to go about that without getting obsessive.

I HEAR THAT.

I spent years being obsessive about exercise. There was a time in my life where I couldn’t imagine running less than 6 days a week. There was a time where I fractured my ankle running a marathon and then forced myself to exercise in my boot on an elliptical until I burned as many calories as I would have on a run. There was a time where I would have called in sick to work just to fit in a workout because the guilt of skipping a workout would have been too much to handle.

But, overtime (yes, it took some time!) I shifted my relationship with exercise from obsessive to easy and fun. I traded deprivation for loving discipline.

Here are a few ways I found loving discipline with movement after so much obsession:

• I make a commitment to have fun. Think about kids!!! Kids have SO MUCH FUN moving. They have so much fun that it is hard to get them to come in for dinner because they want to keep jumping or biking or running around in circles. So, I stopped doing everything that didn’t feel fun to me and experimented with new ways of moving (like barre).
• I stopped “exercising” and started “moving.” I know this is just semantics, but the language we use really does matter! For me, moving rather than exercising meant that I didn’t have to think about calorie burn or the length of my workout. It was a more flexible term that gave me permission to move my body in more ways! Moving meant I could dance! I could take barre! I could go for a walk! It gave me MORE options, and therefore MORE opportunities to feel the way I wanted to feel.
• I give myself the gift of time! For me, this looks like carving out intentional time for movement (because I know my body feels so good when she moves!) and then practicing flexibility within that. Having time to move makes me feel so supported, and since there are no “rules” I don’t have to fear that time or dread it (like I used to when I knew I had to run a certain number of miles, even on days where that didn’t feel good to my body). Some days it is first thing in the morning, sometimes later in the day.
• I move in a way that works for my life rather than playing a victim of my circumstances! The truth is, I would go to barre class every single day of the week at 9 AM if I could (before Osh, this was a part of my routine most days!). But, that isn’t the reality of this season of my life. I could sit around and say “well, because I don’t get to do the thing I want to do the most I am just not going to do anything.” That attitude doesn’t serve me or what feels best to my body. Instead, I talk to myself with kind, loving words that make me feel empowered. I say things like “you feel so good when you stretch and move. You deserve to feel that way! What options do you have today to prioritize feeling good in this way?” This empowers me to move in a way that works for my life, even if it is a simple walk around the park or playing in the yard with Osh. I practice gratitude for the two days a week I get to take barre and on other days, I move in other fun ways.
• I let go of guilt! Some days (like yesterday), I barely move at all. That’s ok! I am not a good person when I move or a bad person when I don’t. Simple as that!
• I check my motivation, making the distinction between discipline and deprivation! I define the difference between discipline and deprivation as motivation. So, I check in with myself on my internal motivation: is my motivation loving? Is it to help me feel like my best self? OR, it my motivation punishing? Is it because I feel like I’m not good enough and need fixed?
• I practice openness and flexibility. If something that worked for me in the past no longer works for me, I give myself permission to let that go and to try something new so that I can embrace what does work for the version of myself (body, life, circumstances) I am today.

I practiced all of these things when I went for my run this AM, and it was a totally different experience running today then it would have been 6, 8 or 10 years ago. I felt totally safe, because I knew I could walk or stop at any time. I felt full of gratitude, because I viewed the time to move my body as an awesome gift. I felt really loved and cared for, because I knew the choice to run came from hearing what my body needed and responding accordingly. I also felt totally FREE, because I knew that today’s run didn’t need to mean anything about tomorrow.